Monday, November 5, 2012

Dress Shopping

One of the things that I have looked forward most to since getting engaged is dress shopping. I have always envisioned my mom and I (& maybe my maid of honor) going out and trying on dresses, and then going with other friends randomly to try on other dresses and bridesmaid dresses also. I hoped that Mom would be with me when I had the feeling that this was "THE DRESS" and we would hug, tears in our eyes, and be so happy that I had found the dress I would wear when I start my life with my husband.
I admit that I enjoy trying on dresses, but my budget is pretty low (my choosing, not my parents) so the dresses that I can consider is of limited quantity. Plus, in my above description, I did not take into consideration two facts. 1: I hate shopping and 2: my MIL...
I think that number 1 needs no explanation, so we'll skip right to #2. When B2 and I first got engaged, one of D's mouth was "You had better take me wedding dress shopping." Umm, ok. I think that's my decision. I guess it's not a bad idea to include my MIL, but it take a little of the shine out of my little fantasy bubble up there. Then she said "We can go this weekend if you want and then when your mom is in town, you will know exactly what you want." Umm, no. In no part of my wedding dress fantasy did I see myself going with only my crazy MIL.
Long story short, I go shopping with a friend and am fairly unsatisfied with the dresses I tried on. I went home and, as a fluke, tried on a could of dresses that a lady in a nearby town was selling for super cheap. That's when I found the dress. I'll admit it, no bells or harps went off in my head and it is not THE DRESS, but it is what I want to wear and I will be happy to wear it. The woman is willing to do the alterations for a very minimal amount as well, so that makes it even easier.
The question then came about how to tell my MIL that I had a dress. The only answer I could think of was: Don't tell her and have a fake dress-shopping event. It was a success, thank goodness, and D behaved herself. It was interesting to see her expressions. When I walked out with the first dress, she gasped "Oh my GOSH! That's the dress. You're appropriately covered and I like that it's not strapless. You won't be messing with yourself all night." The second dress was my "OMG DREAM DRESS" with a nightmare of a pricetag. Mom and I loved it, but D stated that it was "too much and the silver takes away from the white." That statement alone went completely against her later statements that I "must wear a colored sash" because a plain white dress is "boring and old fashioned."
All in all, she behaved herself and she's not going to be hurt now because I found a dress somewhere else. I went back to my parents' house this weekend and I'll just claim that I found it just now. Let's just hope that she doesn't offer to do the alterations. She's amazing with a sewing machine, but a wedding dress is a little different from her quilts and embroidery.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

When H met D

I will never forget the day I met my mother-in-law, though I no longer know the exact date it was a moment that will be forever engrained in my memory. B1 and I had been dating for only a few weeks when I met D aka Monster er Mother-in -law. I am now surprised at how normal the house looked for the woman who lives there is by far anything but normal. When we entered the house D was standing at the counter in her over-sized t-shirt and shorts, now you maybe thinking when dose the abnormal part come in?, well brace yourself my friend because here we go. D looks from me to her son B and back to me again "Who the hell are you?" she asks me. "My name is H I'm B's new girlfriend" I reply. "How old are you?" D said, "I'm 20" at this point I'm feeling like I'm in some kind of freaky police integration, and I'm thinking about making a break for it. Before I can make a run for the door I am surrounded in a hug and being smothered by D's GIANT, BRA-LESS boobs with her excitedly shouting "OH MY  GOD, I LOVE YOU!!". Now as someone who HATES  being touched by people I don't know (yes, I admit I have my issues to) this was of course extremely awkward for me and as I'm standing there being crushed in an embrace by a women whom I just meet I catch a glimpse of B laughing his ass off. I glare at B and quickly reply "um, okay thanks I guess" and step out of the reach of her and her bra-less man eating boobs. The police interrogation then continues as I am quizzed on all aspects of my life including what my favorite color is (green) and what my expectations for my and her sons relationship are at the time my reply was " I don't know we've only been dating a few weeks" (we have now been married almost 5 years   :) but that's another story). Finally B decides that I have been put threw enough questioning and tells D "well gotta go our movie starts in 10 minuets" I am invited back at any time with or without B and told to make sure I stop by soon so D can show off B's baby pictures. Only after one more boob smother/  hug am I allowed to flee to the safety of B's car. He gets in the drivers seat still laughing "well what do you think of my mom?" I'm at a loss of words for a moment until the word vomit starts including such sayings as "that was the weirdest thing to ever happen to me, are you sure your not adopted and the ever popular   why didn't you tell me your mom was a creeper?" This of course just makes B laugh even more with him replying " just wanted you to know what you were getting your self into". This was the start of the long love/ hate relationship I have with D my mother-in-law. Stay tuned their is much more craziness to follow.... <3 H.H.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Thanksgiving Dinner

A couple of weeks ago, out of the middle of no where, my fiance announced that my mother-in-law (MIL) would be joining us for Thanksgiving.
What's the big deal? I wasn't really expecting to have a Thanksgiving meal at our apartment, but I can scrounge something to put together. I know! I'll get one of those banquet turkey dinner deals. It's not very original, but I'm not a gourmet cook (Seriously, my idea of a meal is milk and cereal). I'm sure my MIL will complain her way through it with her usual comments:
"I see you spent a long time on this boxed meal."
 "No wonder my son is so thin, if this is how you cook."
"The least you could have done is actually MAKE something."
"This is turkey is too hot/cold/spicy/bland/messy/mashed/smushed/clumpy/lump, and the mashed potatoes are too hot/cold/spicy/bland/messy/mashed/smushed/clumpy/lumpy"

Once again, okay. I've gone through meals like that before, and usually can laugh off her comments with some semi-catty comebacks. However, my fiance throws one more curveball into the mix.

"No, not our dinner, the dinner at your parents' house."

My reaction: "WHAT!?!?! NO. NO. NO!!!"
Him: "She doesn't have anyplace to go this year." Which is actually a lie. The story is that my (future) father-in-law is having surgery and will be in the hospital. For some unfathomable reason, my MIL decided that meant that she got to invite herself along to Thanksgiving dinner at her sons' in-laws. Not only would that mean a possibly awkward dinner (My parents are much more subdued than my fiance's parents. Seriously. I thought they were pretty out there growing up. NOPE! They are plain and quiet as can be, thank God). I also would have to sit through a (count it) 90 minute car ride. No thank you.

We'll have to see how this goes. Thanksgiving is quickly approaching.

(wish me luck) 

My (future) Mother-in-Law

I have this mother-in-law. . .
Okay, so she's not my mother-in-law yet, but she will be in 18 months, so it's really a technicality.
She's probably one of the sweetest ladies I know: She loves her kids... was a crossing guard... hangs out with old library ladies... stay-at-home mom while the kids were younger. You know, the good kind of person.
She's funny, caring, and is driving me ABSOLUTELY NUTS!!!
I don't think that she tries to be this way, at least, I hope that she doesn't. It just happens that she's freaking crazy. I don't think I can even explain how nuts she is, but that's what this blog is all about. Myself and my future sister-in-law (she's actually my fiance's brother's wife..once again, technicalities) are going to document our journey with her and hopefully we'll hear about what other people are dealing with also!